Augusten Burroughs

1 Running with Scissors

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books 
Price :  $3.99
Release Date :  2010-04-01
Description :  Now including an excerpt from <i>Lust &amp; Wonder</i>, a new memoir coming in March 2016. <br /><br /><i>Running with Scissors</i> is the true story of a boy whose mother (a poet with delusions of Anne Sexton) gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead-ringer for Santa and a lunatic in the bargain. Suddenly, at age twelve, Augusten Burroughs found himself living in a dilapidated Victorian in perfect squalor. The doctor's bizarre family, a few patients, and a pedophile living in the backyard shed completed the tableau. Here, there were no rules, there was no school. The Christmas tree stayed up until summer, and Valium was eaten like Pez. And when things got dull, there was always the vintage electroshock therapy machine under the stairs....<br /><br /><i>Running with Scissors</i> is at turns foul and harrowing, compelling and maniacally funny. But above all, it chronicles an ordinary boy's survival under the most extraordinary circumstances.

2 This Is How

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Self-Improvement  Books  Health, Mind & Body  Biographies & Memoirs 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2012-05-08
Description :  If you're fat and fail every diet, if you're thin but can't get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can't get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really and truly wish you were dead, if you feel like it's your destiny to be a star, if you believe life has a grudge against you, if you don't want to have sex with your spouse and don't know why, if you feel so ashamed, if you're lost in life. If you have ever wondered, How am I aupposed to survive this?<br /><br />This is How.

3 Lust & Wonder

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2016-03-29
Description :  <b>The instant <i>New York Times </i>bestseller</b><br /><br />Lust: 1. intense sexual desire or appetite<br />2.a passionate or overmastering desire or craving<br />3.ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish.<br /><br /><b>Wonder:</b> 1. something strange and surprising; a cause of surprise, astonishment,or admiration<br />2. the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration<br />3. a miraculous deed or event; remarkable phenomenon<br /><br />From the beloved #1 <i>New York Times</i> bestselling author comes an intimate look at the driving forces in one man’s life.<br /><br />With Augusten's unique and singular observations and his own unabashed way of detailing both the horrific and the humorous, <i>Lust and Wonder </i>is a hilariously frank memoir that his legions of fans have been waiting for. His story began in <i>Running with Scissors, </i>endured through <i>Dry, </i>and continues with this memoir, the capstone to the life of Augusten Burroughs. <br /><br />Funny, sweet, alarming, and ultimately, moving and tender, <i>Lust &amp; Wonder </i>is an experience of a book that will resonate with anyone who has loved and lost and loved again.

4 Dry

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books  Health, Mind & Body  Self-Improvement 
Price :  $3.99
Release Date :  2013-04-23
Description :  The Tenth Anniversary Edition of the New York Times bestselling book that has sold over half a million copies in paperback. <br />"I was addicted to "Bewitched" as a kid. I worshipped Darren Stevens the First. When he'd come home from work and Samantha would say, ‘Darren, would you like me to fix you a drink?' He'd always rest his briefcase on the table below the mirror in the foyer, wipe his forehead with a monogrammed handkerchief and say, ‘Better make it a double.'" (from Chapter Two)<br /><br />You may not know it, but you've met Augusten Burroughs. You've seen him on the street, in bars, on the subway, at restaurants: a twentysomething guy, nice suit, works in advertising. Regular. Ordinary. But when the ordinary person had two drinks, Augusten was circling the drain by having twelve; when the ordinary person went home at midnight, Augusten never went home at all. Loud, distracting ties, automated wake-up calls and cologne on the tongue could only hide so much for so long. At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. But when Augusten is forced to examine himself, something actually starts to click and that's when he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life—and live it sober. What follows is a memoir that's as moving as it is funny, as heartbreaking as it is true. <i>Dry </i>is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power.

5 Take Five: Four Favorite Essays Plus One Never-Been-Seen Essay

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books  Humor 
Price :  $1.99
Release Date :  2011-07-01
Description :  From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes TAKE FIVE, a mini collection of true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention—stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. TAKE FIVE includes the following four favorite previously-published essays plus one brand-new, never-been-published essay by Augusten Burroughs:<br />--MINT THRESHOLD<br />--UNCLEAR SAILING<br />--COMMERICAL BREAK<br />--DEBBIE'S REQUIREMENTS<br />--SWAN SONG (new!)

6 You Better Not Cry

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2009-10-27
Description :  You've eaten too much candy at Christmas…but have you ever eaten the face off a six-footstuffed Santa? You've seen gingerbread houses…but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You've woken up with a hangover…but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.

7 A Wolf at the Table

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2008-04-29
Description :  "As a little boy, I had a dream that my father had taken me to the woods where there was a dead body. He buried it and told me I must never tell. It was the only thing we'd ever done together as father and son, and I promised not to tell. But unlike most dreams, the memory of this one never left me. And sometimes…I wasn't altogether sure about one thing: was it just a dream?"<br /><br />When Augusten Burroughs was small, his father was a shadowy presence in his life: a form on the stairs, a cough from the basement, a silent figure smoking a cigarette in the dark. As Augusten grew older, something sinister within his father began to unfurl. Something dark and secretive that could not be named. <br /><br />Betrayal after shocking betrayal ensued, and Augusten's childhood was over. The kind of father he wanted didn't exist for him. This father was distant, aloof, uninterested…<br /><br />And then the "games" began. <br /><br />With <i>A Wolf at the Table,</i> Augusten Burroughs makes a quantum leap into untapped emotional terrain: the radical pendulum swing between love and hate, the unspeakably terrifying relationship between father and son. Told with scorching honesty and penetrating insight, it is a story for anyone who has ever longed for unconditional love from a parent. Though harrowing and brutal, <i>A Wolf at the Table</i> will ultimately leave you buoyed with the profound joy of simply being alive. It's a memoir of stunning psychological cruelty and the redemptive power of hope.

8 Sellevision

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Fiction & Literature  Books 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2003-06-01
Description :  The hilarious first novel by the #1 bestselling author of <i>Running with Scissors</i>, <i>Dry</i>, <i>A Wolf at the Table</i>, and <i>You Better Not Cry</i>, <i>Sellevision</i> is Augusten Burrough's darkly funny and vastly entertaining skewering of a very troubled home-shopping channel.<br /><br />Welcome to the world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much loved and handsome (that is, lonely and gay) host of a "Toys for Tots" segment, accidentally exposes himself in front of millions of kids, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max struggles to find a new job in television, the popular and perky host Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails from a stalker. Popping pills and drinking heavily, she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the young babysitter who lives next door. Then there's Leigh, whose affair with married Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere until she announces their relationship on air. A blistering satire of our overcharged, scandal-obsessed world, <i>Sellevision </i>is "an absolute howl . . . wicked fun" (New York<i> Daily News</i>).

9 Possible Side Effects

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books  Humor 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2007-04-17
Description :  From the million-copy bestselling author of <i>Running with Scissors</i> comes Augusten Burroughs's most provocative collection yet.<br /><br />This book is approved for consumption by those seeking pleasure, escape, amusement, enlightenment, or general distraction. This book is not approved to treat disorders such as eBay addiction or incessant blind dating.<br /><br />In studies, some people reported inappropriate, convulsive laughter, a tingling sensation in the limbs, and sudden gasping. Fewer than 1 percent reported narcolepsy.<br /><br />Doll collectors may experience special sensitivity, as may discourteous drivers, candy-company brand managers, and nicotine-gum users.<br /><br />This book has been shown to be especially helpful to those with parents, grandparents, life partners, and incontinent dogs. People with dry, cracked skin have responded well to this book, as have people with certain heart conditions.<br /><br />Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this book, until you know what effects it may have on you.<br /><br />This text is contraindicated in those suffering from certain psychiatric disorders, including---but not limited to---readers afflicted with anhedonia, which is the inability to experience pleasure. <br /><br />Ask your doctor about <i>Possible Side Effects</i>.

10 Magical Thinking

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books  Humor 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2004-10-05
Description :  From the number-one bestselling author of <i>Running with Scissors</i> and <i>Dry </i>comes Augusten Burroughs's most eagerly anticipated collection yet: true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention.<br /><br />It begins with a Tang Instant-Breakfast Drink television commercial:<br /><br />"Yes, you, Augusten. You were great. We want you." <i>I can now trace my manic adult tendencies to this moment. It was the first time I felt deeply thrilled about something just a fraction of an instant after being completely crushed. I believe those three words "We want you" were enough to cause my brain to rewire itself, and from then on, I would require</i> more <i>than other people....</i>- from <i>Magical Thinking</i>'s "Commercial Break"<br /><br />A contest of wills with a deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. A different kind of "roof work." Dating an undertaker who shows up in a minivan. This is the fabric of Augusten Burroughs's life: a collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate, stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. With <i>Magical Thinking</i>, Augusten Burroughs goes where other memoirists fear to tread.

11 Courir avec des ciseaux

Author : Augusten Burroughs
Genre :  Fiction & Literature  Books  Literary 
Price :  $11.99
Release Date :  2015-08-13
Description :  <b>Roman autobiographique choc, <i>Courir avec des ciseaux </i>est le récit tragicomique d'une enfance et d'une adolescence hors norme, dans l'Amérique déjantée des années 1970.</b> <br /><br /> Dans l'ombre de parents psychotiques, Augusten rêve de gloire et de paillettes. Lorsque son psy devient son tuteur légal, une vie encore plus déjantée s'ouvre à lui, dans un foyer stupéfiant d'extravagance. Libre à chacun de mâchouiller des croquettes pour chiens devant la télé ou de jouer avec la machine à électrochocs. Le récit poignant et hilarant d'une enfance pas comme les autres. <br /><br /> " Augusten Burroughs se raconte drôlement bien : le comique de la situation est répercuté de scène en scène, jusqu'à la fin, pour ombrager pudiquement le drame de la perte de l'enfance. "<br /> <i>Le Matricule des Anges </i> <br /><br /> <i>Traduit de l'anglais (États-Unis)<br /> par Christine Barbaste</i> <br />



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