Annabelle Gurwitch

1 I See You Made an Effort

Author : Annabelle Gurwitch
Genre :  Humor  Books 
Price :  $5.99
Release Date :  2014-03-06
Description :  Actress and humorist Annabelle Gurwitch returns with <i>I See You Made an Effort, </i>a book of essays so wickedly funny it may make you forget your last birthday. Not one to shy away from the grisly realities of middle age, the “slyly subversive” (<i>O, The Oprah Magazine) </i>Gurwitch confronts the various indignities faced by <i>femmes d’un certain age </i>with candor, wit, and a healthy dose of hilarious self-deprecation. <br /><br /> Whether falling in lust at the Genius bar, navigating the extensive—and treacherously expensive—anti aging offerings at a department-store beauty counter, coping with the assisted suicide of her best friend, negotiating the ins and outs of acceptable behavior with her teenage kid, or the thudding financial reality of the “never-tirement” generation that leads her to petty theft, Gurwitch’s essays prove her a remarkably astute writer in her prime (in so many ways). Is this the beginning of the Eileen Fisher years? Where does one conduct an affair with a younger man? Is 50 the new 40? Or is 50 still just…50?<br /><br /> Scorchingly honest, surreally and riotously funny, <i>I See You Made an Effort</i> is the ultimate coming-of-middle-age story and a must-read for women of all ages. Reading glasses not included.

2 You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up

Author : Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books 
Price :  $11.99
Release Date :  2010-02-23
Description :  In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn prove that in marriage, all you need is love—and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.<br />&#xa0;<br />After thirteen years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have found “We’re just not that into us.” Instead of giving up, they’ve held their relationship together by ignoring conventional wisdom and fostering a lack of intimacy, by using parenting as a competitive sport, and by dropping out of couples therapy. The he-said/she-said chronicle of their intense but loving marriage includes an unsentimental account of the medical odyssey that their family embarked upon after their infant son was diagnosed with VACTERL, a very rare series of birth defects. Annabelle and Jeff’s unforgivingly raw, uproariously funny story is sure to strike both laughter and terror in the hearts of all couples (not to mention every single man or woman who is contemplating the connubial state).<br />&#xa0;<br />Serving up equal parts sincerity and cynicism, <i>You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up </i>is a laugh-out-loud must-read for everyone who has come to realize that being “in love” can only get you so far.<br /><b>&#xa0;</b><br /><b>On Cohabitation</b><br /><b>He says: </b>“Within days of Annabelle’s arrival, I became very aware that she demanded solitude and had the housekeeping habits of a feral animal.”<br /><b><br />She says: </b>“The guy had some sort of nudity radar. When I would take my clothes off for even a second, Jeff would be in front of me cheering as if he’d scored box seats at Fenway Park.”<br /><b>&#xa0;</b><br /><b>On Sex</b><br /><b>He says: </b>“I want to have sex every day, but Annabelle only wants to do it once a week. So we compromise: we have sex once a week.”<br /><b><br />She says: </b>“Jeff says talking about money before you have sex is a turnoff, but it’s only a <i>turnoff </i>if you’re talking about not having money. Talking about money before you have sex when you have money is actually a <i>turn-on</i>.”<br />&#xa0;<br /><b>On Pregnancy</b><br /><b>He says: </b>“For God’s sake, all I wanted to do was have sex without a condom for a little while; now we were moments from bringing a new life into the world!”<br /><b><br />She says: </b>“My ass was expanding so fast it was like a Starbucks franchise. On every corner of my ass there was a new branch of ass opening up.”<br /><br /><i>From the Hardcover edition.</i>

3 Fired!

Author : Annabelle Gurwitch
Genre :  Humor  Books 
Price :  $9.99
Release Date :  2006-03-10
Description :  If you've ever been fired, you're in good company. That's what actress and writer Annabelle Gurwitch discovered when she was fired by her idol Woody Allen ("You look retarded"). She confided her tale of woe to her friend Felicity Huffman, who made Annabelle laugh with her own stories. Annabelle realized that there was a world of people out there waiting to laugh at the experience that virtually everyone shares, and she began to collect stories of being fired from friends and colleagues. Soon she was contributing regular "Fired!" segments to <i>Day to Day</i> on NPR and gathering friends to appear with her in sold-out performances of <i>Fired!</i> in Los Angeles and New York. <i>Fired!</i>, her documentary film inspired by these stories, comes out in 2006. <br /><br /> This book is a collection of hilarious but true tales from people who've all gotten the ax, the boot, or been canned at some point in their lives. In "That's a Fact," Andy Borowitz tells the story of being fired as a writer for the television sitcom <i>The Facts of Life</i> after being informed that he just didn't "get" Tootie. "Take that hanger off your head, you idiot!" were the last words Jeff Garlin heard before being fired from Spec's Music store after only one day on the job, just one of the many firings he recounts in "That Garlin Boy." In "Jimmy the Idiot," Dana Gould sums up his firing from the cast of the sitcom <i>Working</i> that led him to become a producer of <i>The Simpsons</i>: "In the second episode, I was a math genius, in the third -- a motocross racer, and in the fourth episode I was replaced by a chimp, but nobody noticed." In "Poor Judgment," Illeana Douglas tells about being fired after a few hours of working as a coat check girl: "How is it possible to be fired from hanging coats? I have arms. I know what coats are. I don't come home and throw my coat on the floor. I hang it in a closet. I have experience." How did Bob Saget find out he was being phased out of his job on <i>The Morning Program</i>? "One day I showed up and my hosting chair was gone!" <br /><br /> With an all-star cast from Tim Allen to Morgan Spurlock, from Anne Meara to David Cross, and contributions from people from all over the country, this book proves it's not the bounce that counts, it's the bounce back.

4 Wherever You Go, There They Are

Author : Annabelle Gurwitch
Genre :  Humor  Books 
Price :  $11.99
Release Date :  2017-04-18
Description :  <b>A hysterically funny and slyly insightful new collection of essays from&#xa0;<i>New York Times&#xa0;</i>bestselling author Annabelle Gurwitch, about her own family of scam artists and hucksters, as well as the sisterhoods, temporary tribes, communities, and cults who have become surrogates along the way.</b><br /><br />When Annabelle Gurwitch was a child, surrounded by a cast of epically dysfunctional relatives, she secretly prayed that it was all a terrible mistake. Maybe she was a long-lost daughter of Joni Mitchell or the reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian princess. A family of bootleggers, gamblers, and philanderers, the Gurwitches have always been a bit vague on the ideal of a loving and supportive family. Their definition includes people you can count on to borrow money from, hold a grudge against, or blackmail. Thus began a lifetime of Annabelle seeking out surrogates. If she’s learned anything, it’s that no matter how hard you try to escape a crazy family, you just end up in another crazy family. <br /> &#xa0;<br /> With a wry wit and healthy dose of irresistible self-deprecation, Gurwitch asks: Who and what makes a family in our modern society? Is it our blood relations, the people we work with, the people we pray with, our pets? Gurwitch&#xa0;delves into&#xa0;her Shalom Y'all tribe's southern Jewish roots,&#xa0;along with the confederacies she’s joined by accident or on purpose, and treats us to a glimpse of life with theater folk, a band of cosplaying Furries, pet people, a UFO cult, and secular humanist fellowships while exploring the fragility of sisterhood and the spec­tacularly daunting search for the community where her aging parents will spend the last chapter of their lives. <br /> &#xa0;<br /> By turns hilarious and deeply moving, <i>Wherever You Go, There They Are </i>is a must-read for anyone who’s even occasionally been frustrated by the people they share carbohydrate-laden meals with every year.

5 Autumn Leaves

Author : Annabelle Gurwitch
Genre :  Biographies & Memoirs  Books 
Price :  $0.99
Release Date :  2012-11-14
Description :  <i>Autumn Leaves </i>recounts the author's erotic fantasy in which she pictures herself having sex with the Apple Genius Bar staffer fixing her laptop. Meanwhile she humorously reflects on the impact age has had on her body and on the fate of growing older.<br /> <i>Autumn Leaves</i> will also be featured in Annabelle's upcoming memoir on "becoming vintage".



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